We’re emotional creatures. The way we perceive the world, what we do, how we engage with others stems from our emotional stability (or instability). There are days when we wake up feeling on top of the world and there are other days where we’re riddled with frustration, sorrow and rage. But have you ever wanted to know how to assess those feelings so they don’t get the best of you? Emotion assessment doesn’t mean avoiding emotions. It means feeling them and responding in a way that seems appropriate and productive. Whether you’re having a bad day at work, arguing with a partner or just feeling off, knowing how to assess these feelings can alleviate stress.
This article features ten ways to assess your emotions starting today. These are not complicated assessments that require a lot of tools or preparation. Instead, these are basic tricks you can insert into your life any time, any where. You just have to be ready to take the plunge and expand your emotional comfort zone. Breathing techniques and acts of self-expression will give you the power over emotions that once had the power over you. Are you ready to be a calmer you in a calmer life? Read on!
1. Take Deep Breaths to Calm Down
When you feel an emotion bubbling up inside of you, the first thing that happens is often a physical reaction from your body. Your heart starts racing, your palms sweat, your chest gets tight. Ever tried to think when you’re angry? It’s almost impossible. That’s why deep breathing is so necessary. It clears your mind and your body.
Want to try something? Sit comfortably, shut your eyes if you’d like, and breathe in through the nose for a slow count of four. Hold for one beat, breathe out through the mouth for another slow count of four. Repeat this for sixty seconds, maybe one hundred and twenty seconds. It’s as if you’re resetting the computer inside your body. Deep breathing slows your heart rate and centers you in the here and now. You can do it anywhere—from before a big meeting to post-argument or in a three o’clock downtime funk.
Even better? It’s effective and does not take practice. The next time you’re flustered, take a pause and take a breath. You’ll feel better than you thought you could.
2. Name Your Emotions
Do you ever have these abstract feelings that feel like a big, giant ball of stress spinning in your mind? The best way to de-ball it is to identify your emotions. Am I angry? Annoyed? Upset? Frustrated? All of these things? Putting a name to something makes it feel more manageable.
For example, when I’m angry, it’s so easy to get overwhelmed by the anger that I forget all the rest of my emotions. But when I take a step back and say, “Wow, I’m truly frustrated with John right now,” all of a sudden, that frustration is compartmentalized from who I am to what I’m feeling for the time being. It’s something that can get me a drink later on but right now, it’s just there. Verbalizing or articulating it helps more than you think.
Putting a name to your feelings also provides clarity as to why you feel this way. You’re angry because of X and not just angry for no reason. You’re anxious because your deadline is approaching and not because the walls are closing in on you. Once you know the source, it helps to determine a resolution. It’s like turning on a light in an otherwise dark room. It’s not as scary when you can see what’s happening.
3. Write in a Journal
Another form of emotional processing includes writing. Ever type or write what you’re thinking? It feels like writing to oneself without the need to respond or engage in conversation. A journal is a safe and effective space to get it all out—angry, sad, confused, whatever’s overwhelming you.
Find a journal or even a blank piece of printer paper and write what the issue is and why. Don’t pay attention to grammar or punctuation or making sure it sounds correct; just write. If you’re angry that you had a long day at work, if you’re anxious that the fundraiser is next week, write it down. Literally, get it down on paper. Get it off your mind and onto a surface where it becomes less substantial.
Journaling gives people a chance to recognize patterns; I realize I start to get upset every time this person calls me. I realize that I get anxious when I’ve been overtired for more than two days. When issues can arise on the page, there’s a better chance for clarity as to why feelings are felt and reassurance that resolution is possible. Additionally, it’s good to get things off of one’s chest and out of one’s system.
4. Talk to Someone You Trust
When you’re feeling overwhelmed by emotions, it’s always nice to feel comfort from another source. Oftentimes when people become stressed or down, they keep everything inside, like a balloon being blown up too much and at risk of popping. But once you release that air with a trusted friend or loved one, suddenly you feel better.
Seek someone out who will listen and not judge. It doesn’t have to be your best friend—sometimes you can talk to a friendly coworker. Explain what’s going on—a stressful deadline, or a heated discussion gone too far—so they can better understand what you’re going through. Sometimes, just having someone acknowledge your plight and empathize with you makes you feel like you’re not alone.
The key to this solution is to attract someone who will listen and not immediately try to remedy the situation. A lot of times, we don’t want advice, we just want someone to hear us out. If face-to-face is too difficult, send a text or make a phone call. The goal is to get it off your chest and out in the open. You’ll be surprised how many others feel the same at one point or another and your emotions won’t feel so heavy anymore.
5. Move Your Body
Another great way to remedy emotions is through physical activity. Think about how good it feels to work up a sweat from running or even going for a leisurely walk around the block. We release built up energy and frustration when we move our bodies in healthy, productive ways. It doesn’t have to be anything crazy—even some gentle movements and physical outlet like stretching or dancing can go a long way.
When experiencing struggle, remember you’re probably holding that in your physical body—and the best way to relieve yourself is by moving it. Walk. Do some yoga. Jump up and down to your favorite songs; getting the blood flowing is literally the easiest way to get the chemicals your brain needs to process, making it feel good. Sometimes, a quick 10-minute jaunt around the block changes everything.
The good news is that you don’t need a gym or even any materials to do this. Put on your sneakers and go wandering around your neighborhood or go online to find a free workout video. Just ensure it’s not too rigorous—you want something that will work for you as therapeutic movement. The next time you’re feeling out of sorts, try it.
6. Be Mindful
Mindfulness means learning how to be present and aware within the moment. Many times, we feel overwhelmed by emotions because we’re unsure of the future or reflecting on what’s already occurred in the past. The best way to calm the crazy is to ground ourselves back in the moment and be mindful of what’s happening around us.
For example, you can sit down somewhere quiet and acknowledge what’s going on around you. What do you see? What do you hear? What scents exist? Maybe you notice the hum of a fan or birds chirping outside. If your mind drifts from the task, gently bring it back, or focus on your breath and do a 5-point body scan to recognize how your body feels in each external part.
Mindfulness doesn’t have to be complicated. You can be mindful while eating or walking, while doing anything required for daily life. Mindfulness is paying attention to the present moment without judgment about thoughts and feelings. The more you engage in mindfulness practices over time, the more you’ll find that you’re able to create your own calm and mental stability—even when things get rough.
7. Take a Break
One of the best ways to help regulate emotions is to remove yourself from the situation. Have you ever wanted to scream bloody murder because you’re so frustrated? A break releases your frustration so you can process.
A break does not have to be a long one. Five minutes is effective. Find somewhere else to go instead of engaging in the heated debate or the annoying task. Step outside, get some water, or sit in silence for a few moments. There is no wrong way to take a break—only the right reasons to engage.
Taking a break is effective because it allows feelings to simmer down before reaction. Instead of responding to frustration with anger (or vice versa), taking a break allows one to return with a more clear mind. If you don’t think it’ll work, set your timer for five, walk away and see how much better you feel upon return.
8. Do Something You Enjoy
Something enjoyable is also an effective way to regulate emotions when things get tough. What do you love? What can you create that will raise your spirits? From watching your favorite show or episode to listening to music or baking something tasty, engaging in activities you enjoy can help take your mind off those negative feelings.
When you’re upset, it’s easy to feel bad and then feel worse when you’re spiraling. When you do something you love, you break that cycle. This doesn’t mean you have to avoid your feelings, but instead, give yourself a mental health day to step away for just a little bit. For example, if you like to draw, get a sketchpad and doodle. If you like music, blast your favorite songs and sing (or hum) along.
The critical caveat is to do what makes you feel good. You don’t have to do things that are productive or monetary or things that others would compliment you on. Many find joy in basic things (like watching cat videos). If that makes you happy, take the time to do it—especially when you’re about to explode.
9. Set Healthy Boundaries
Sometimes, emotional distress is the result of other people or circumstances. Have you ever gone away from someone’s company feeling like the soul has been sucked out of your body because they complained so much? Emotions can be transitive person to person, so healthy boundaries can help maintain equity in emotional responses.
A boundary is an unwritten line in the sand. It’s an understood threshold of what is and isn’t acceptable. For example, if someone constantly bitches to you about their lives, and you’re feeling overwhelmed, you can ascertain how often you’d like the bitching sessions to occur. You can say, “I appreciate you, but I’d like to stick to more positive topics today,” and mean it. It’s not rude; it fosters self-preservation.
Boundaries can also apply to how you act. If you’re finding that looking at your phone is making you high-strung, give yourself a boundary on how often you’re going to do that. These boundaries allow you to stay in control of your emotions without losing them.
10. Get Good Sleep
Sleep affects your emotions. Have you ever noticed how much worse everything feels when you are tired? When you don’t get enough sleep, you’re just crankier, crazy, or angry. Good sleep clears your head.
Aim for 7–8 hours of sleep at night with a soothing nightly routine—read a book, listen to calming music, dim the lights. No screens one hour before bed as blue light keeps you awake. If you’re struggling to fall asleep, try easing the tension in your body or using breath work to help.
When you’re not so emotional, it’s easier to understand how to change and cope with challenges. Sleep is the foundation for all good emotional well being; even one good night’s sleep works wonders for how you feel.
Conclusion
Managing emotions is a practice learned over time. These ten tips—breathing, naming feelings, journaling and talking, moving, mindfulness, taking breaks, doing what you love, setting boundaries and getting good sleep—are all easy, everyday resources accessible to everyone without formal training or equipment needed beyond an open mind.
What’s the most effective for you? Maybe next time you feel stressed, you’ll do a mini breathe exercise. Maybe you’ll put pen to paper and get your thoughts out. Just keep in mind that whatever you choose, you must be consistent. Emotions can be intense, but they don’t have to control you. And with smalls changes, you can feel more relaxed and more empowered to face the day. So take one of these options and implement it today—you got this!